Go for what you want in life or settle for less

Go for what you want in life or settle for less

If you want to take control of your life and get what you want out of life, you will have to stop making excuses. There are certain phrases that you will have to cut out of your vocabulary; “I don’t know; I don’t care; it doesn’t matter; so what”—and one that is now very popular among our younger people,” Whatever”.

We are so lucky in life to have choices and it is so sad to waste them. When you have a choice, even an unimportant or insignificant choice, behave as if you have a preference. Ask yourself, which is the better choice, what would help me the most right now, how can I take advantage of the best alternative?

Not being clear about what you want in life and not having the necessary focus needed to achieve your goals, is one of the reasons you might not have reached some of your most important goals in life.

Jack Canfield, a very well known author who I recently introduced in an event at the Puerto Rico Convention Center, tells us that years ago he took a workshop with a self-esteem and motivational expert.

I think there were 24 people in the session that first morning and they were directed to take a seat in one of the chairs in the room. There were large notebooks of different colors lying on every chair: Blue, Yellow and Red were the colors if I recall. On the chair he chose to sit, there was a yellow notebook and as he sat, he thought “I hate yellow. I wish I had a blue one”.

Then the speaker said something that Jack says changed his life forever. “If you don’t like the color of the notebook you have, trade with someone else and get the one you want. You deserve to have everything in your life exactly the way you want it.”

What a radical concept, he thought. He says that for over 20 years, he had not operated from that premise. He simply accepted things as they were and didn’t try to change them. If the speaker hadn’t offered that option, he would have kept the yellow notebook which he didn’t like.

So, he turned to the person immediately to his right and asked her if she wanted to switch her blue notebook for his yellow one. It turned out the lady’s favorite color was yellow.

It is amazing how that incident turned his life around.

Last week I did a leadership seminar in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for an eyeglass manufacturer based in St. Cloud, Minnesota. I had people from all over Latin America. After the session, a lady came up to me and said that one thing I had said had made her realize how her attitude was responsible for everything that was happening to her in life and not everyone else’s fault. She never took responsibility so was never able to change her circumstances.

That makes sense, if you attribute everything that happens to you to outside sources, then you have no control of anything and you won’t be able to change anything.

Let’s face it; it’s more probable that your attitude, rather than your aptitude, will determine your altitude in your life.

That was a breakthrough for the lady and hopefully, she will now be able to take her destiny into her own hands.

One of the best ways to begin clarifying what you really want out of life is to make a list of 10 things you want to do, 10 things you want to have, and 10 things you want to do before you die. This is a great first step in the right direction for you.

This is a great exercise to do with your loved ones. What do they really want? Is it compatible with what you want? I found out years ago that if you help people get what they want, and they help you get what you want, you will both be able to get what you want. Profound truth I think.

Another great way of doing this exercise is to sit with a loved one or a friend and ask them to help you make an “I want” list. Have the other person continually ask “What do you want? What do you want?” for 10 to 15 minutes and jot down your answers. You might find that the first few wants are not that profound, you might say things like “I want a BMW, I want a house in Dorado” and so on.

However, by the end of the 15 minute exercise, the real you comes up and you might be saying things like “I want to be loved, or I want to be accepted or I want to make a difference in the world or I want to help my son or daughter get what they want out of life”.


Life is very short. Fight for what you want in life and help those you love get what they want and your chances for happiness will multiply.